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2017: The Year America Looks Like Aleppo? Columns Featured 

2017: The Year America Looks Like Aleppo?

If the movin’ and shakin’s of the Luck Plane are any indication it appears 2017 will be a defining point in the death of large political collectives in favor of smaller and smaller sects, a never ending war of 10,000 fronts fought not for dominance but for vendetta.

Already a major omen has predicted absolute disaster for the year ahead, a failure in a re-occuring miracle that’s correctly warned of everything from earthquakes to World War 2. This alone was enough to set wizards and witches scurrying for cover; not to be outdone the material world has provided its own trends to study.

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Standing Rock is In It’s Most Precarious Situation, So Why Should People Go Home? Columns 

Standing Rock is In It’s Most Precarious Situation, So Why Should People Go Home?

When the news hit that the Army had stood down, that for a brief second it appeared the people might have a glimpse of what victory actually feels like in the face of impossible odds, I was about as far away from North Dakota as anyone could be. On some deserted Florida beach I had made camp, my communist bandanna flying violently in the wind as I guzzled tall-boy after tall-boy of cheap American beer. Bossa Nova from the 1960’s blared at full volume, a soothing weight to balance out the ever-familiar tension of a mind on high alert. I knew that the times ahead would be the most important and this pipeline business was now more dangerous than ever.

A quick overview of the facts: the Army Corps of Engineers, after facing the possibility of hundreds of military veterans acting as human shields, has decided not to the grant the easement necessary for Energy Transfer Partners to complete the Dakota Access pipeline, seemingly bringing an end to months of protests over the project. Cheers from the northern territories could be heard as faraway as Georgia and the internet was absolutely ablaze with congratulatory memes. The battle had been one, the pipeline would be moved, and one of the tribal leaders was even beginning to ask the nearly 5,000 people assembled to move along unless they belonged to the Sioux tribe.

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America Won’t Convict Killer Cops Because It Couldn’t Care Less Columns Featured 

America Won’t Convict Killer Cops Because It Couldn’t Care Less

I cannot in good conscience consider a guilty verdict.” This is the sound of what a fully militarized system of white supremacy sounds like.

Jaws hit the floor yesterday in the case of Michael Slager, better known as the cop who shot an unarmed man named Walter Scott, when a jury of 11 whites and one black person said it looked like they were heading for a mistrial. This wasn’t some dire gridlock either, but one lone asshole who somehow has decided that they cannot possibly conceive of any punishment for a cop that not only shot an unarmed man in the fucking back but tried to plant a weapon on him to make it look justified.

We here at the Greed Florida Office have been staying up all night reviewing the details of this case, practically draining the local liquor store of supplies absolutely critical to reviewing the footage of the shooting. It must be very difficult to be a juror on the Walter Scott case, what with the vast amount of studying required of what surely must be a very long and very unclear bit of videotape. We did our best to put ourselves in their shoes. Try your own hand at it:

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This Thanksgiving Give Thanks for Anomie Columns Unaimed 

This Thanksgiving Give Thanks for Anomie

Anomie: a condition in which society provides little moral guidance to individuals. It is the breakdown of social bonds between an individual and the community, e.g., under unruly scenarios resulting in fragmentation of social identity…

Contrary to popular belief Thanksgiving was not founded as a holiday to celebrate the American genocide of first nation’s people, nor to remember the salvation of any pilgrims. It was made a national holiday by none other than Abraham Lincoln at the height of the Civil War for “the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.” In affect it was a holiday celebrated independently by the States brought under Federal control for propgandic value creating a sense of unity and national togetherness, one gigantic collective hallucination to fuse diverse cultures and peoples into one.

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Donald Trump is the Enemy The Left Has Always Needed Columns 

Donald Trump is the Enemy The Left Has Always Needed

Donald Trump hasn’t even taken the presidency and he’s done more for the Left than Noam Chomsky has in 10 years.

That at least appears to be the feel of things as millions of Americans swarm the streets, burn cars, and stock up on guns as the swearing in of our Arch-Salesman looms ever closer. People who never would have dreamed about violence, let alone sneezing in the direction of a racist, are messaging me en masse asking about gun laws in states I’ve never been and just what kind of damage a .357 round can do to a Klansman’s head.

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Don’t Be Afraid of the Candidates, Be Afraid of the People Voting for Them Columns Featured 

Don’t Be Afraid of the Candidates, Be Afraid of the People Voting for Them

(GREED) – We are living in a horror movie, a grotesque carnival of human depravity and indifference towards suffering. Torture, blood, guts, everything seems slashed with macabre tones as I nervously sprinkle rue water on my front steps to keep away evil. This election is the most frightful one yet but it’s not the candidates that fill me with dread. It is the American people themselves that should scare us to death, not whichever puppet our masters can convince us trust. I recall two nights before Halloween when a short Italian woman grabbed me by the arm, her fingers digging into Read More

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Will Standing Rock Give Anarchism a Soul? Columns Featured 

Will Standing Rock Give Anarchism a Soul?

The scene is a new one, yet its repeated wherever the Western world collides with one that is perhaps incalculably old.

It’s evening time in North Dakota and a young Anarchist from out of state sits beside a bonfire. He looks at the comrades around him, primarily indigenous peoples, and breathes deeply the clean air of the plains. Stars he never sees in the city paint the night sky and the moon lights up the hills that seem to roll on forever. He can understand why these proud people want to defend this land, this soil, and fight so hard to keep the long arm of capitalism from despoiling it. With a big breath he tries to soak up as many memories, his entire body beaming with joy.

This is the revolution he was always waiting for. The one he dreamed about all those nights he stayed awake at college reading Bookchin, Kropotkin, and Emma Goldman. He begins to feel that this whole thing could be it, the final tipping point where humanity liberates itself from the oppressive chains of the State and superstition.

But as he revels in revolutionary delight a soft female voice rises from the other side of the fire. She too has come to join the protest and speaks in the tongue of her people, words our Anarchist can’t understand yet ones that cause his hairs to stand on end:

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Stop Pretending You’re Surprised Football Fans are Racist Featured Sports 

Stop Pretending You’re Surprised Football Fans are Racist

Kapernick’s protest has brought attention to the flagrant abuses and misdeeds permeating the country and NFL fans are pissed at HIM for ruining the fun. They don’t want to acknowledge the widespread and systematic brutality Black folks have had to suffer under the same flag they view as god’s gift to Earth, because to do so would cause them to begin to question everything they believe about the world and their lives. Far easier for your average inbred caught drunk on a sunday morning to scream and make vague threats of violence, and lo-and-behold that’s exactly what we’ve seen.

Good God, why the hell do you think we all have guns down here? When I heard Trump was going to be holding a rally in my hometown I made it very clear to as many people as possible I was armed and would not hesitate to kill any would-be Klansman that might feel empowered. The neighbors don’t visit as often, but I can’t say the Klan does either.

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Work for the Mainstream Media? You Should Kill Yourself. Columns 

Work for the Mainstream Media? You Should Kill Yourself.

Amid the gallons of rain, rolling blackouts, and hurricane-force winds that recently swept Florida coastline I laid eyes on a Time magazine article that was so idiotic, so clearly drenched in Pro-State Propaganda, I debated marching 50 miles inland with nothing but my laptop and pistol to fire off an article in total disgust. The headline itself, let alone the article it represents, is so reprehensible that those responsible should publicly repent with self-mutilation or acts of Seppuku.

Take a good long look at this abortion of a cover, a slimy two-headed attempt to get the American populace to ignore the fact that recent hacks have revealed their entire political system is a fucking sham. The primaries were fixed, the winner has been decided, and contrary to all popular belief third-party candidates really are a threat to the established order.

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I Support the Heroes that Robbed Kim Kardashian Columns 

I Support the Heroes that Robbed Kim Kardashian

(GREED) – In a daring and heroic act Kim Kardashian, living symbol of the vapid veneration of celebrities and mindless pursuit of profit, has had a gun jammed in her face and “was robbed of millions of dollars worth of jewelry while visiting Paris on Sunday night.”

In a country with a youth unemployment rate of 23.50% some unknown proletarians brought home the terror and degradation they face on a daily basis to one of the most despised creatures ever to crawl out of the cesspool that is the “celebrity scene.”

France has always been home to a peculiar and infamous strain of Anarchism that has struck fear directly into the hearts of the bourgeoisie since it’s inception: Illegalism. From Jules Bonnot robbing banks to Marius Jacob breaking into churches and the houses of the wealthy, the French elite have spent many a night dreading the return of Anarchists that had no time for peaceful marches or some far off revolution. The Illegalists fought Class War in the present tense, deeming all members of the wealthy as guilty and anything they had up for grabs:

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